Counselling4Couples

The Hold Me Tight (HMT) Relationship Programme: Conversations for Connection

Couples who want to grow stronger together and build a solid foundation are invited to participate in this personalised couples programme based on the book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for A Lifetime of Love by Dr Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT).

The HMT Programme has a structure comprising short presentations accompanied with viewing short video clips of couples taking part in the HMT programme with Dr Sue Johnson. This is then followed by the couple engaging in their own intimate and expertly facilitated conversations to help develop more openness, understanding and trust in each other. The healing truly lies in these heart to heart conversations that provide a stable foundation for safe loving relationships.

During the programme, you will also be set homework based on the chapters from the Hold Me Tight book to support the transformative work we engage in within the HMT sessions. I highly recommend reading the book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for A Lifetime of Love to learn more about this wonderful approach to healing and transforming relationships.

Who can attend?

This is a structured relationship enhancement programme for couples who want to deepen trust and intimacy within their relationship. It is ideal for couples who are embarking on a committed relationship through moving in together, getting married or civic partnerships. All ages, races, religious, gender and sexual orientations are welcome.

It is also helpful for committed couples who are struggling to communicate well and want to improve their communication and connection, or couples who have grown distant and want to rekindle the spark that drew them together. If your relationship has become like a wilting plant in need of some watering, then HMT might just be what is needed to spring it back to life.

It can also be a prelude for couples who have never had couples therapy and feel unsure about therapy or fully committing to longer-term couples therapy. Couples can generally benefit from investing 10 hours in gaining the knowledge and experience from this structured relationship programme before, during or after couples therapy.

A little health warning: If your relationship is in severe distress, the Hold Me Tight Programme is not a recommended substitute for individual or couples therapy. If you or your partner are experiencing acute relationship distress, serious depression or other mental health problems, you are advised to first and foremost seek regular weekly individual or couples therapy, rather than the Hold Me Tight Programme.

HMT Programme Objectives

We will cover topics to help you:

• Understand the underlying emotional reasons you get stuck and disconnected within yourself and with each other.
• Change the negative patterns of interaction that leave you both frustrated, angry, lonely, hurting or feeling unsafe with each other.
• Engage in new heartfelt conversations that offer new hope and keep your love alive and secure.

The 8 facilitated conversations are based on the following topics:

• Session 1: Understanding Love and Attachment
• Session 2: Recognising Demon Dialogues - Negative Patterns of Interaction
• Session 3: Finding the Raw Spots - Emotional Triggers
• Session 4: Revisiting a Rocky Moment - Repairing Injuries
• Session 5: Hold Me Tight – Deeply Engaging and Connecting Conversations
• Session 6: Forgiving Injuries and Learning to Trust Again
• Session 7: Bonding Through Sex and Touch
• Session 8: Keeping Your Love Alive

The HMT Programme Format

The HMT programme comprises a total of ten hours; 8 structured hours with the couple and one individual session with each partner, either in the format of ten one-hour sessions online or 2-hour slots face to face on a Thursday afternoon (2:30 to 4:30pm) at my venue in Winchmore Hill located at the historic beautiful Quakers building and tranquil grounds.

If you would like to register for a Hold Me Tight programme with your partner, email me at heleneigwebuike@gmail.com or text 0776 2333 644 to find out about cost and availability

What happens after the HMT Programme?

You may find that your relationship MOT has worked wonderfully and you are now both more of a safe haven and secure base for each other. Alternatively, you may decide to continue working on your relationship by starting couples therapy with me provided I have availability or with another therapist of your choice. I am happy to help recommend EFT couple therapists.

I do also offer an intensive couples therapy follow up session comprising 4 hours at my venue or online if needed. It is only for couples who would struggle to meet for regular weekly sessions or who really want to work with me rather than work with another therapist.

An intensive is an opportunity for a couple to dedicate a block of time and space exclusively to working on their relationship to reach a deeper level of awareness of how and where they get stuck in communication and attain greater clarity and deeper connection.

An intensive can also provide an opportunity to deal with overwhelming relationship crunch points or an immediate crisis.

My goal is to help the couple leave with a deeper sense of mutual understanding of what blocks the security of their connection and an experience of what a more secure connection would look and feel like for both. It really helps if the couple have a specific intention for what they each hope to get out of the Intensive in terms of the status of their relationship.